brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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