I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
