I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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