Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize