I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
