Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
