we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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