There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
