i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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