I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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