why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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