Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
