Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
