i don't like sucking hair
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
