Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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