Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
