Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
