That's when you crack a 10am beer
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
