I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
