Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
