SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We just shotgunned beers for America
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
