I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone came in the potted fern
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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