I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
