I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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