Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
