Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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