mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
