I skipped work to stalk him.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
