My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
