apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
