you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
