I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
