I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
