I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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