I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
