dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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