I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
