i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
