I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
