I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
