dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
