Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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