Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
