i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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