I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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