You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
