so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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