she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's rum buckets o'clock
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
