remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish you could order shots online.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
