i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
